So this summer I started working part time running a super fun photo booth at weddings. I won’t mention the name of the company in the event they read this and hate it… especially because my bosses are super cool and this job is really fun. I get to eat wedding cake, flirt with boys and perfect my Cupid Shuffle moves.
That being said, I have attended over ten weddings this summer. And every time I leave a wedding, I think man I hope _____ doesn’t happen at my first wedding. ;)
One of my friends suggested I write down some of the highlights so far… here are my thoughts…and you are welcome… future wedding having people.
1. DO NOT play the following songs: “Single Ladies” during the bouquet toss. EVERY single wedding they do this. Every one. “Who Let the Dogs Out” (yeah it still exists) during the garter toss. Also the Macarena and Electric slide should no longer be in the rotation of your dj. If it is- you hired a dj from 1996.
2. DO NOT walk down the aisle or come in to the reception to “Tonight’s gonna be a good night” (Everyone does it) OR the Chris Brown song popular from both the You Tube video from LAST YEAR and the Office season finale. Again. FROM LAST YEAR. I have seen two weddings do this over the summer. And both times it fell flat. Everyone’s seen it and now they just feel sorry for you.
3. Fondant tastes gross.
4. Don’t have your wedding anywhere near small bodies of water if you plan to invite children. I attended a wedding in Platteville this weekend and guess what? All the kids kept catching FROGS! Anyone who knows me, knows that I am afraid of Frogs more than anything in life. I was terrified. Also it invites mosquitos. This weekend I was bitten on the eyebrow and drove home with a huge welt on my eye so that I vaguely resembled Sloth from the Goonies.
5. If there is an open bar I promise you are always ten times more drunk than you think you are and the following pick up lines do not work, “ssooyouliveinDenver?” or “Will you help me zip up my pants?”
6. The mother of the bride (or groom) should not be wearing a dress that is sold at Forever 21 with the prom dresses.
7. Don't have the wedding at a location where guests have to do their own dishes. Yup. That happened.
As the summer goes on I’m sure more will come to mind. And as a guest of a wedding next weekend (Congrats Jaime and Jarod!) I will be very excited to be on the receiving end of the fun….