Tuesday, March 30, 2010

How was your day at work? I was uncomfortably introduced to a possible suitor...

Today at work a coworker decided to play matchmaker...

A few weeks ago she told me about this guy and she said, “he’s so nice and he reminds me of well… George Costanza”

Oh good… as if I didn’t have enough neurosis for one relationship—he could add even more. THEN she told me his name was Rob. Now- if you are reading this and your name is Rob and I haven’t dated you… then congratulations… you can keep reading… if you ARE a Rob I have dated… then skip ahead Choose Your Own Adventure style.

I will keep this brief and say I have bad luck with guys named Rob. NOT Bobs, however. LOVE Bobs… especially Bob Ross… but that story will come on another day.
SO my coworker comes in… lets me know he is here and she’ll bring him down soon. I know she has the best of intentions—but it all came across very awkwardly---

Coworker: Kacee, this is Rob.
Kacee: Hi, nice to meet you.
Rob: Nice to meet you
Coworker: Well, you guys are both nice people so I thought you should meet…
Kacee: Well, this isn’t awkward.

Uncomfortable banter follows… I douche out and give him my BUSINESS CARD…. And then he gives me his… and that dear friends is the end of that. He seems very nice and DOES NOT look like George Costanza in any way. Perhaps the third Robs a charm.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Who is Justin Bieber and when did I get so old?

WHO is this Justin Bieber and why is he popping up all over the place?

Let’s be honest… I really only sneak back toward pop music if Britney has an album out.. And from what I can tell she’s back on the Cheetos and Starbucks… so it’s going to be awhile. Until then I will continue to be musically snobby and sit in my office and listen to my Sigur Ros and feel depressed.

But really? WHO is this guy? Why does he look so tiny? Is he a Jonas Brother? I DON’T KNOW. I get irritated when I don’t know who these people are… I feel like I used to be in the know.. when did I get so old?

Like when Twilight came out… it was all over the place… and I had to google it.. In fact I still don’t know what it is. It’s a romance about vampires? AND I still don’t get the thing with Robert Pattinson and his hair… and when the movie came out and everyone was like TEAM JACOB or whatever.. I had to google that too. I am still stuck on the TEAM ANISTON train! I am becoming a dinosaur. Eventually I will realize that my pop culture references to Balky in Perfect Strangers will no longer be looked at with humor… but with pity.

Last night I was just talking about the Real World and how I desperately want to break up with it.. but I can’t!! It’s too difficult.. life without the Real World means I am officially old. I want to not watch.. but turning away would mean that I am officially in the VH1 zone… and then I’ll never know who Justin Bieber is.

Monday, March 22, 2010

I'm starting with the man in the mirror....

I’m really not. But just one quick thing about all the political issues about healthcare reform and everyone on the faceplace today going nutballs about it—IF you don’t agree- do something about it. Write your Congress person--- not just update your status. Make sure you vote, get involved… I am not going to voice my opinion either way- but I do think if you really feel strongly about something then take action.

No one wants to hear me talk about that though. People want funny stories and right now I have very few. Although I was reminded this weekend about how when I was a kid I made a puffy paint sweatshirt of Homey the Clown. It had a picture of his face on it and said, “Homey don’t play that.”

Monday, March 8, 2010

And why wouldn't you want my opinion about the Academy Awards?

Last night as I lie in a carbohydrate induced coma, Kristal said to me “I hope that is going in your blog” In reference to the fact that Kristal seems to think I should be the next girl to date George Clooney. OR Jeremy Renner... which thank goodness he didn't win.. it would only be more difficult for me to get my foot in the door.

That meant I had to write a blog. SO here it is… I know that opinions are like a$$holes- and everyone has one.. and I like to keep mine (both) to myself … but because Kristal asked for it…

First of all, Kristal and I have watched about 12 years of Academy Awards together- beginning my freshman year of high school at Mrs. Highley’s house. We were practicing for the PCL Lit. Contest (we won- obviously). I realized then that two things would never change for me 1. Cold hot dogs taste gross and 2. I love watching the Oscars with Kristal.

This year our “food theme” was Midwest Farmer’s Daughter. So we made lots of casseroles.. all a success, except for the wretched and distended look of my belly when I got home.

So the best part of the night was playing who aged better when it came to the stars of John Hughes movies. The winner was “Ducky” aka the guy from that show I don’t watch with on again/off again Rehab star Charlie Sheen on CBS. Judd Nelson looks like a homeless man. And what happened to Macauley Culkin’s nose?

Also- I always wonder why certain “stars” are presenters at the awards. I mean what was Queen Latifah doing there? Honestly. Didn’t she win for Chicago like 6 years ago or something? She is ALWAYS THERE! I don’t get it. Or Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfried. I know this may offend some people- but being in a Nicholas Sparks movie should not allow you to be a presenter at the Academy Awards. Again- just my opinion. I don’t like touchy feely movies- which is why I did not nor will ever see The Blind Side.

There were a lot of great moments… and for the most part those were punctuated with my trips to the kitchen for more casserole… but for me the biggest highlight was the quote “Hey Ferris, this yo day off?” from Matthew Broderick, who has been drinking the Rapid Aging Potion again.

Also the snuggies. Clever.

My favorite quote was from Kristal was in an email I received this morning and I have to agree with her to some degree… “The more time that passes, the more ripped off I feel about up in the air. And precious. They were robbed.”

So here are my thoughts on Precious. Man- if you haven’t seen it- you should. Then never watch it again. I love the commercials for the DVD that say “OWN IT TODAY!” No thanks… But it really bothered me that Oprah kept calling Gabourey Sidebe “Gabby”. Oprah- your best friend is Gail… not “Gabby” stop addressing her by a nickname to show the world how tight you are. We get it. Oh- and when Kathy Ireland was there (HUH?) talking to Gabourey? As Kristal said, She’s speaking to her as if she is deaf.

In closing- my other favorite quote from Kristal is… “too bad Sean Penn is such a d*ck. He’s such a humanitarian.”