Monday, June 28, 2010


So I’ve been dealing with a ton of issues with my internet in the last week. Wednesday they sent out a technician who spent the entire time trying to convince me he was not an alcoholic but simply had a summer cold. To be honest, I didn’t think that coughing a lot was a sign of an alcoholic, but whatever. He also kept asking me if I owned my house, had it gone down in value, etc… um… just fix the internets please….

So… I get home that night… no internets… the following day another technician comes out… he was quiet but took a few moments to stop and watch tv… but he was fine and left. Next thing you know- no internet.

Yesterday a third tecnhician comes out and I open the door and think oh, he’s pretty cute. So he starts working and we start to chit chat and suddenly I realize we are flirting… this goes on for a bit and then he asks me for a piece of paper and gives me his number… in case I have problems with my service. So I immediately call Jill and tell her the story and then I get a phone call.. “IT’S HIM!” I yell and transfer over… he wanted to know if I wanted three months of free HBO or Showtime or a $20 credit for all the bad luck I’ve had. I took the credit… I already have those channels.

So my next step is to obviously look for him on facebook. It’s been a long time since I met someone cute and funny and easy to talk to and is not named Rob.

Well, tonight I am starting to teach a public speaking course and before I can teach I have to take this test about learning and the brain (dumb). So the test is online and I’m halfway through it AND…… no internet. So I call the technician, we’ll call him Joe, and he says ok I’ll be over in ten minutes.
So we flirt a bit more… and we talk about the test and the class I’m teaching and he says.. well, let me help you with the test… super cute, right? So I log on and it won’t let me get back into the test… so Joe being the expert he is says, “Let me try to trick it.” Well, this means pulling up ALL THE PAGES I’ve visited… including the facebook search for him.
Um. Yeah.

So he says “You weren’t taking your test! You were on facebook!”

Needless to say, Joe has not called me back. So word to the wise.. do not facebook stalk unless your internet is up and running and no one can check your searches.

Oh- and by the way- the internet went down again about twenty minutes later….

Monday, June 7, 2010

Why I need to break up with MTV....

I am an old person, so I clearly have no right to comment on last night’s MTV Music Awards but I will anyway.

First of all, I love Parks and Rec. In my opinion it is 10,000 times funnier than The Office… and if you started watching it about a year ago and stopped… start again. The first season wasn’t that great- but it’s better now. If nothing else watch simply for Aziz Ansari as Tom Haverford. Last night his “Swagga Coach” bit was great. AND his reenactment of Precious. Loved it.

BUT why on Earth was Tom Cruise on there doing his Les Whoever character from Tropic Thunder? That movie came out like three years ago. I had totally forgotten who he was… I don’t get it. Go back to saying weird stuff, Tom Cruise.And if you are going to revive a character what about Maverick? I’d like to see what happened to that guy. I’d like to see him dance with J.Lo.

My other issue was with all the F bombs. I’ll admit every so often I’m totally fine with using curse words and in fact I applaud it with friends and family. HOWEVER, when every other word is F*ck… you begin to sound childish. I know that commonly this word is used to get a reaction… however why not write great skits or banter to do the same thing? A perfectly timed curse word is a gift… let’s not turn it into mainstream language so it loses it’s gratification for the speaker.

I'd really like to break up with MTV... but I'm not ready. I still need to see the new season of Jersey Shore- although it will guaranteed disappoint me- and I love True Life because documentary shows make me feel better about myself. So until Bravo gets just a touch more trashy... I'll still want my MTV.