Monday, October 10, 2011

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down… by my nightguard.

My nightguard isn’t the focus of this blog… (audible sigh of relief by readers)… but how the nightguard signifies the importance of not taking yourself too seriously.

I had really funny parents. And let’s be honest- my childhood had all the makings of an After School Special (sans braces and creepers leering at me as I walked home from school.) But my parents taught me early on to laugh at myself. In fact- I still remember some of the dumb things I said as a kid (upon opening a Totino’s pizza at Heather Payne’s house “There is so much cheese on that pizza!” The pizza looked like it was covered in cheese.... because it was upside down.) I remember my mom telling the story about how my dad walked around all day on campus with one of the lenses missing from his sunglasses… and how when he realized it he thought it was so funny.

So last week I went to brunch with some dear friends from out of town, my friend M. and her new man, and the BF (who for blogging purposes shall be referred to as Master Bacon- this is a nod to both bacon and our favorite superhero... and yes I know what other word Master Bacon sounds like... This is not intentional). So during brunch in an effort to simply make conversation, I realized that 85% of what comes out of my mouth is pure ridiculousness. (The other 15% percent includes: commentary on hair care, Early Childhood Education, animals in costume, and reality television.)

So readers here are some of the brunch highlights:
• My dream about being served a deli sandwich at some fancy charity event where I was seated next to Susan Sarandon. Susan had a plate of beans and I was irritated, because as a vegetarian I should have been served beans- not a turkey sandwich. I left the event to attend a friend’s party and walked in at the same time as (gasp!) Dream Guy Bob Costas. But I had to leave early to help my friend with his food truck. This is the most unbelievable part of the dream actually, because everyone knows I can’t cook.
• I also mentioned that the night before I had come home and decided to open a PBR and considered “drinking it in the shower like a man does” I didn’t realize this was so funny. My two girlfriends couldn’t stop laughing, their gentlemen seemed confused yet complimentary and Master Bacon just lowered and shook his head. If my life were a 90s sitcom, we would cut to me looking into the camera and shrugging my shoulders and a “That’s just Kacee!” theme song would play.

So what’s the nightguard have to do with it?

Master Bacon and I had only been on one date when I learned I’d have to start sleeping with a mouth guard for my TMJ, his exact words were… “Wow, you sleep in an eye patch (he meant mask) and wear a night guard? You’re a catch.”

Yay, me.

Oddly enough I never knew that the night guard would change my life. Not only do I no longer wake up with headaches, but I became much more entertaining.

At night I’ll typically say “Ok, I’m putting the night guard in” which means Master Bacon will have prepared a series of questions ….The answers to which have many s’s…. when I speak -everything with an s sound is now replaced with a shhhh sound.

For example:
What’s my favorite football team?
The Shanfranshico Forty Ninersh

What state is next to North Dakota?

And so on and so forth.

I could’ve made the nightguard a big deal. I could’ve been awkward and embarrassed to wear it in front of him. But I wasn’t. And I’m glad… talking in my nightguard is frankly, hilarious.

Dtaylo always says, “One day you’ll look back on this and laugh.”

So why not just start laughing now?

Post Script: I began this post about a week ago and then a bunch of crappy stuff happened and I didn't feel I could post this since I wasn't being true to what I had written. However, today as I came in to work (late because I'm not sleeping well and have had a lot on my mind- I know boo hoo.) I realized that the air is on in our office and so I've been forced to wear gloves. Unfortunately this meant that my fingers are fat and while facebook stalking (shut up- we all do it) I accidentally added a friend when I just meant to "like" the post. Then I had to unfriend her so as not to seem like a creeper but probably made it worse by writing a message that I was sorry I friended her by mistake. So what was once a terribly frustrating and freezing cold morning- is now just funny... That's just Kacee.

1 comment:

  1. 1 - faceplace stalk - we all do it.

    2 - I beg to differ on the 85% being "ridiculousness". And if it really is, well, hell, I'm ridiculous as well.

    3 - Susan Sarandon, Bob Costas, and a food truck, all in the same dream?!???! I want to go to there.