Thursday, November 18, 2010

It gets better... but bad perms don't.

So a lot has been going on lately about bullying. Bullying comes from a place of insecurity and therefore breeds insecurity. Last night an incident occurred that I consider my “It Gets Better” tribute. Sadly, even as an adult it’s still possible to get bullied.

I remember being a kid and a teenager and hearing the boys on the bus or in gym class making fun of me for a whole host of reasons and thankfully I got over that. I may not ever like them, but I’ll be their facebook friend… because at this point? Who cares? And I also know that I was probably a bully too. I know that if I felt uncomfortable or wanted to fit in… the go to reaction is to make fun… and recognizing that I acted that way has made me a better person.

Last night some friends and I were at a wine bar and we were telling stories and laughing and probably being loud and my friend B. says about the couple across from us (a man and a woman) “I think they are talking about us.” So I look over and the guy at the table says DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? Taken aback, I say …no… First of all.. who says that? second of all... I didn't have a problem.

Then the two proceed to make fun of me… well, my hair… calling it a bad perm. Ok- there are MILLIONS of things to make fun of about me… but my hair? Really? Ok. So this goes on and on and they are being obvious about what they are saying and doing (which is drawing a picture of my “bad perm”)… and it was completely obvious that they had nothing else to talk about except our table… and the lovely Amelia Earhart from Channel 9 news… sitting next to us. Who seemed to be on a first date or something? Anyway.. she’s really tall.

As this went on I thought… make fun of me all you want… I’m probably way better at it than you.. so my friends and I start laughing about all the real reasons they should make fun of us… because let’s face it… we are all our own biggest bullies.
So I need to use the restroom and I decide it’s time to confront them…
I went over to their table and squatted down and said, "Listen if you want to make fun of me letme give you some real reasons because my hair is naturally curly." then I was like here are some actual reasons you should make fun of me and listed a few things about myself… and then I said, “I'm sorry that you and your friend are having such a bad time that the only thing that entertains you is making fun of other people." And then I got up and went to the bathroom...

My friends had no idea what I had said to them. I go to the bathroom and in my mind a fist fight must have broken out… they must be screaming back and forth with my friends… but then I get back and the couple is paying their check and left without a word.

It just goes to show that remaining calm and speaking with intelligence is bully kryptonite.

And don’t mess with a girl with naturally curly hair. We’re feisty.


  1. Love it. Love you.

    Also, in retrospect, it would have been funny if you started with "imma let you finish".

  2. HA!!!!!!!!!! Dammit! Why didn't I think of that? In retrospect there were way better things to say.. next time.

  3. I love women with naturally curly hair so much that I am "almost" attracted to them. Do you get what I am saying? Way to speak up for yourself!!!!!