Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be therapists...

So last night I went out with a guy (the one who called me Polly) and I should have known it would not go well.

First of all, he called me the wrong name… but I have decided to give anyone a chance at this point.. so I went out with him. It started out ok.. we chatted about chocolate and cheese for awhile and everything seemed like it could be fine. BUT THEN he began talking about his work- he’s a therapist… and an hour later I got to talk.

And the conversation basically was him telling me that the choices I made were odd and atypical of a normal woman because:

1. I remain friends with guys I have dated. Apparently this “grossed him out” and he had a huge problem with it.

2. I am “cold hearted” because I feel like there is no use boo hooing over a relationship that didn’t work. I just told him it was a waste of time to sit around and be sad for something that clearly wasn’t meant to work and it’s easier to just move on and be happy. I spent way too much time in my 20s feeling sorry for myself because a boy broke my heart. But in the end, I realized it really was the best thing that could have happened. Does the Red Roof Inn wedding ring any bells? Seriously.

3. I only want one child- and “Normal” girls want at least three or four.

4. It’s weird I have gone out with guys younger than myself. Remember the 21 year old? Again he said he was “grossed out.” Um no… that was awesome. Sorry, dude.

5. He asked me if I would be happy if I remained single forever and I said “yes” because I have a great life, great friends, etc… and this is also weird because according to him you can’t have a family without a husband.

DONE. Check, please. On the double.

So at this point- I am thinking ok- clearly this isn’t a match.. I’ll just pay for my drinks and go. WRONG. He says, “So I’m hungry- let’s get some food.” He wanted to continue this? Stop it… so I said I was ready to hit the road… and he ASKS ME OUT AGAIN! And what did I do? I SAID YES! Even though this was the worst, most uncomfortable date I had ever had I still didn’t think I could hurt his feelings to his face and say no. So today I am going to compose a sweet little email that allows me to say it just isn’t going to work.