And why wouldn't you want my opinion about the Academy Awards?

Last night as I lie in a carbohydrate induced coma, Kristal said to me “I hope that is going in your blog” In reference to the fact that Kristal seems to think I should be the next girl to date George Clooney. OR Jeremy Renner... which thank goodness he didn't win.. it would only be more difficult for me to get my foot in the door.

That meant I had to write a blog. SO here it is… I know that opinions are like a$$holes- and everyone has one.. and I like to keep mine (both) to myself … but because Kristal asked for it…

First of all, Kristal and I have watched about 12 years of Academy Awards together- beginning my freshman year of high school at Mrs. Highley’s house. We were practicing for the PCL Lit. Contest (we won- obviously). I realized then that two things would never change for me 1. Cold hot dogs taste gross and 2. I love watching the Oscars with Kristal.

This year our “food theme” was Midwest Farmer’s Daughter. So we made lots of casseroles.. all a success, except for the wretched and distended look of my belly when I got home.

So the best part of the night was playing who aged better when it came to the stars of John Hughes movies. The winner was “Ducky” aka the guy from that show I don’t watch with on again/off again Rehab star Charlie Sheen on CBS. Judd Nelson looks like a homeless man. And what happened to Macauley Culkin’s nose?

Also- I always wonder why certain “stars” are presenters at the awards. I mean what was Queen Latifah doing there? Honestly. Didn’t she win for Chicago like 6 years ago or something? She is ALWAYS THERE! I don’t get it. Or Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfried. I know this may offend some people- but being in a Nicholas Sparks movie should not allow you to be a presenter at the Academy Awards. Again- just my opinion. I don’t like touchy feely movies- which is why I did not nor will ever see The Blind Side.

There were a lot of great moments… and for the most part those were punctuated with my trips to the kitchen for more casserole… but for me the biggest highlight was the quote “Hey Ferris, this yo day off?” from Matthew Broderick, who has been drinking the Rapid Aging Potion again.

Also the snuggies. Clever.

My favorite quote was from Kristal was in an email I received this morning and I have to agree with her to some degree… “The more time that passes, the more ripped off I feel about up in the air. And precious. They were robbed.”

So here are my thoughts on Precious. Man- if you haven’t seen it- you should. Then never watch it again. I love the commercials for the DVD that say “OWN IT TODAY!” No thanks… But it really bothered me that Oprah kept calling Gabourey Sidebe “Gabby”. Oprah- your best friend is Gail… not “Gabby” stop addressing her by a nickname to show the world how tight you are. We get it. Oh- and when Kathy Ireland was there (HUH?) talking to Gabourey? As Kristal said, She’s speaking to her as if she is deaf.

In closing- my other favorite quote from Kristal is… “too bad Sean Penn is such a d*ck. He’s such a humanitarian.”